Here of late, love has been the topic on my mind. How to understand it, how to obtain it, how to grow in it are all things consuming my mind. I’ve been listening to pastors and teachers, reading my Bible and have been in prayer. Love is something I so deeply desire, yet I’m unconvinced I fully grasp it. To express genuine love towards someone and to have that same love expressed towards you. What does that look like…feel like?
I am convinced, that love should erupt the soul with life! Inexpressible excitement should overwhelm someone as they speak of the one they love with others. All the more should the soul rejoice in their presence. Someone who is precious to you should do nothing less to your soul. Whomever is precious to you deserves to be appreciated, valued without price, and cause a total change in your Spirit when you meet. Eyes gleam brightly, smiles cease to fade, and to join hands ignites the body. Your soul should be as a child. Abounding in absolute and pure joy! The two should grow together, strengthening one another and if the Lord should have it, become as one.
One of my favorite quotes comes from the Hunchback of Notre Dame by Victor Hugo.
“Do you know what friendship is?” he asked.
“Yes,” replied the gypsy; “it is to be brother and sister; two souls which touch without mingling, two fingers on one hand.”
‘And love?’ pursued Gringoire.
‘Oh! love!’ said she, and her voice trembled, and her eye beamed. ‘That is to be two and to be but one. A man and a woman mingled into one angel. It is heaven.”
Many see this as a childish view of love, but how right Esmeralda is in the story! To grow together until the two are as one soul is exactly what God had intended for us.
Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?” So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Seeing that many of us will one day be joined together with another, there needs to be an overpowering desire to protect what is precious. In Song of Solomon the brothers of Solomon’s wife say this while discussing what to do concerning their younger sister. (About age 11 or 12 as indicated by “she has no breasts”.)
We have a little sister,
and she has no breasts.
What shall we do for our sister
on the day when she is spoken for?
If she is a wall,
we will build on her a battlement of silver,
but if she is a door,
we will enclose her with boards of cedar. – Song Of Solomon 8:8-9
The brothers are determined to protect their sister and will keep her from men who would take as they please and leave. Thieves in the night more or less. Men with no honor in them, men who are driven by passion, convincing the easily swayed that the passion they feel is Love. Willing to take and destroy what is precious to others is the most dishonorable act I can think of.
Consider Jewels, Precious stones, Gold and Silver. All are pleasing to the eyes and valuable. Locked away in vaults, glass casings and alarms to alert of attempted thievery. Vaults and policemen are there to protect what is precious and valuable. How much more is your value? Do not allow men to rob you, be a wall and know without a doubt that you are beautiful, valuable and precious. Within the castle walls dwell treasures that are desirable by all. Fend off the thieves and those with no honor. Grant the key to the castle defenses to only those of honor, valor and respect. Someone who does not wish to steal the treasures within, but to know, grow and protect what is precious. YOU are the treasures kept behind the wall. For a man to desire to know you, grow with you and to protect you is an honorable thing. It should be a man’s desire to show compassion towards you, kindness towards you and to be the epitome of what genuine love is. Paul describes what genuine love looks like in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Furthermore, Jesus speaks of the greatest love one can demonstrate. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:12-13 Love should see no limit. Not even death should keep you from protecting the one you love. To lay down your own life for the sake of another is most admirable indeed. A true act of valor, to preserve someone who is more precious in your eyes than your own life. Just as Jesus laid down His life for our sake; we are precious in the sight of God, never forget this fact.
Consider the diamond also, the symbol of love and marriage. The strongest precious stone known to man, unbreakable as it is, so also should love be for one another. Ever growing, ever strengthening, love sees no limits. A foundation as strong as the immovable mountains, as staggering as the most grand of structures and an aura of pure genuine love. The love between two souls should be so immensely compelling that witnesses of such a strong love have their own souls stirred with emotion. “Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?” Song Of Solomon 8:5 These are the witnesses of Solomon and his wife returning from their time spent together. Just the two of them, furthering their love for one another. These witnesses know who they are, yet when they return, their love has grown so much greater that they do not recognize them.
His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases. – Song Of Solomon 8:3-4
Tenderly he loves her, he desires to know her and she desires to know him. Awaken love when the time is right, when love is ripe and passion is not the dominate force. Desire for a soul that is immersed in immense love. Love that will set your spirit ablaze and bare witness to all a pure and genuine love, granted by God above.
Praise God our Father! The ability to love so deeply is a marvelous gift. Do not neglect this blessing, love one another just as our Father has loved us. Develop such deep love for your loved ones that Christ shines through and may all who bear witness to your love be awestruck by so great a love.
* I’m adding this in after five months from the initial post. I realized a really good passage that ties in well is Proverbs chapter thirty-one, where we find the iconic proverbs thirty-one woman.
10 An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
13 She looks for wool and flax
And works with her hands in delight.
14 She is like merchant ships;
She brings her food from afar.
15 She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She girds herself with strength
And makes her arms strong.
18 She senses that her gain is good;
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hands grasp the spindle.
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
And she stretches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for herself;
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies belts to the tradesmen.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.
26 She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29 “Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates. – Proverbs 31:10-31 (NASB)
Who can find a wife of noble character?
For her value is far more than rubies. – verse ten (New English Translation NET)
Finding a wife of noble character is the challenge and the goal. In no way is it easy, especially since a women of noble character won’t settle for a man with poor character. A dishonorable man will find no favor with such a woman, and for good reason. As men, we ourselves have to conduct our daily lives with honor and valor. This woman here is praised by all, especially by her husband. Are we living lives that are worthy to be called honorable? Lives were women can look at us and see honorable men, valiant men, Godly men? Men who would not bring shame upon others in their lives, but rather praise. Can we live lives that people appreciate and truly find our character a blessing? If we cannot, then we do not deserve any such woman.
In order to love the Lord fully, you must love your wife fully. For That is what the Lord finds favorable and good. To love your wife partially, is to love the Lord partially.