You?

You truly think you can accomplish it? Become a chaplain.

You? Really…

You who fears for the future?

You who struggles to speak clearly?

You who questions your calling?

You who has ravaged your own mind with porn?

YOU WHO HAS COWERED FROM SHARING THE GOSPEL!

YOU WHO HAS MISLEAD THOSE WHO FOLLOW YOU!

YOU WHO IS NOTHING MORE THAN A PATHETIC, WORTHLESS…

SILENCE!

Silence doubt, for I know who goes before me.

It is Christ who I rely on, He will be my voice.

May His will be my own, where He calls me I shall faithfully follow.

It is true, I have brought destruction to my mind. My Lord and master is a merciful God. He has forgiven me of much and I must look to where He leads, not dwell on where I’ve strayed. Lord I pray you restore my mind!

I admit I have shrunk away from opportunities and have forgone my mission. I repent of this and strive to direct my actions with that of the Holy Spirit. To be in step and go where He leads, to speak when He says speak and to go when He says go.

By poor example or through misspoken word I beg forgiveness! I pray to lead people to Christ, my Lord God, humble me and help me point people to you!

Pathetic? Worthless? Silence yourself for I am neither. Not to my family found in Christ and not in the eyes of my God. Seeking for all to know Him, we are precious to our God.

WHAT A FOOL YOU ARE! Here you boast of faith and repentance! You call out to your God for grace and mercy! Yet, you deserve nothing because you are nothing! Let me remind you of your failure…

You declare to others you wish to be a chaplain, to help those lost in darkness. You’ve lost people before though…haven’t you?

When your friends found themselves in prison did you visit them?

No.

Yet you plan to be a prison chaplain?

It is partly due to my past failures that I strive to serve the Lord. Even if it means serving where few go.

When you hear of confessing Christians selling themselves to worldly passion. Your so called sister, and your so called brother. What do you do?

I’ve tried to reason with them! They did not listen!

You say that you tried, but who did you point them to? To your God? Or to yourself? You had all the wisdom, all the knowledge, do not lie! You have puffed yourself up with pride of knowledge!

I shall not lie and I admit my fault. Many tell me that I am wise and often seek my counsel. I smile at such thought, me a wise man? Recently, I obtained knowledge of my sinful pride when I sought recognition for my handling of a “righteous debate”. I now seek to give all glory, honor and praise to the Holy One and none to myself.

Ah, so you’ve returned to active witnessing? Do you not fear the rejection? You’ve failed before, you remember…time and time again you told your friend about Christ. What did he do?

He told you he found God, in nature, in nirvana, at one point in the church! You knew all along didn’t you? In the pit of Hades he cries out…

Who knows the heart of man but God?! I shared the Gospel, he may have accepted it before…

You saw the signs! You knew he was in pain! Did you read his post? He called himself “a worthless sack of shit” You didn’t call him? Drive out to his place? The next day he…

Yes I read the post! I knew something was wrong, but I never thought…I cried out to my God day and night, my pain was great and still it stings. It is by His comforting Hand I can move forward to the task before me. My God is Just and He is Righteous. This truth is absolute for He is our final Judge. He knows the heart of man.

BEFORE YOU SPEAK AGAIN HEAR THIS! Though I struggle through this life and falter as I go. My Lord and God is full of grace and full of mercy. I once was lost in utter darkness…depressed, alone, neglected, or so it seemed to me. I found hope in the message of God’s Word. Challenged to read by my mother, I learned from her and read in the Holy Scriptures of a love so far beyond human comprehension! What sort of a God manifest Himself to die by the hands of His very own creation?! He has full dominion over death and He chose to lay His life down for my sake, your sake, our sake! He miraculously rose again from the grave on the third day. He has all authority to lay down His life and to take it up again! This is the God I worship, place my faith in, and devout my life to! He is the One who will guide my path and by His will and through His plan I will accomplish the task given unto me. May all who hear His voice seek Him out, may all who see His presence recognize who He is. I pray Father God to light the path to your pasture, so we may gather in your name and worship you. Amen.

3 comments

  1. Thanks Travis for sharing. Praying for you son by birth and brother by rebirth in Christ and his sacrifice for our sins. Love you!

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